So there I was

Getting everything ready for Lindsey's smoothie. Pull out the bag of frozen mixed fruit. Add in some frozen baby spinach. Put in the teaspoon of flax seed and like a tablespoon or whatever of whey protein (I forgot the exact amount). That's when it hit me.

How do you open your banana?

Such a simple process that we go through weekly or monthly if not daily - as doctors would like us to. I always peeled my banana  by grabbing it at the stem and breaking it open. That of course did result a lot of times in just ripping that part off and having nothing to show for it except a slightly smushed banana when there had been a nice ripe one waiting to be eaten. I almost did that Sunday night when I made her first smoothie with banana in it, but I stopped myself.

What if I peeled it the other way; oh, that other dreadful way that people look at you oddly for. "Why on Earth would you do that? That's not how you do it!" I could hear them shout. I simply shrugged to myself and said, "F*** it." I grabbed the tip of the banana betwixt my forefinger and thumb, and I squeezed it until it gave up its succulent quarry.

Okay, maybe that's a bit melodramatic.Only just a bit.

Really though, how do you peel open your banana? Do you do the "standard" way of grabbing it and ripping from the stem, or do you pinch it at the tip until it splits open?

I have noticed that doing it the "pinching way" (it's totally a thing now), I get a near perfect looking banana every time....Then I tear it up with my hands and toss it into the smoothie where its torment is ended by a high-speed metal blade.

Guest Post is Up

Hop on over to http://matthewgyoung.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/guest-post-by-j-m-preiss/ to check out a guest post that I did. I look forward to Matthew coming over and returning the favor here.

This weekend, maybe Monday, I'll continue my look into the world of Halcyon Gate. I'm going to try really hard to make that a weekly thing. I just need to get better at time management...or find more hours in the day.....by figuring out how to work without sleep. :p

Book Preview - Eugenic Reprisal

I thought I'd go ahead and give y'all the first few chapters of Eugenic Reprisal to munch on if you were wondering on whether or not to get it. You can find it here on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HL7ERMM

I have also recently released a novelette titled The Sleeping Man that I think y'all will enjoy. You can get that here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IVI6DH2

Now, without further delay, here's the opening to Eugenic Reprisal.

Chapter I

Sensory deprivation, being trapped in an infinite well of darkness and silence: it is the worst feeling in the world, but even that is a fabrication of the mind and not actually a feeling.

Jacob’s consciousness floated in that darkness. He was completely alone, and he had no contact with the outside world. Time was a novel concept that held no meaning in the darkness.

Jacob had gone through this before. When he joined the Reactionary Force and been chosen for more, “they” had done things to him. He was thrust back into the first room he had entered. The water was cold, and the darkness was total. He felt panic grip his heart as he frantically searched for an exit, but all he found was unyielding metal. His panic intensified as he took his last gulp of air before the room filled up completely. His last thoughts were of Lisa. The darkness claimed him as his air finally escaped lungs.

Jacob was back in the room. He was still sitting in the chair, sweat beading along his brow. His breathing was labored, but he was breathing. Relief washed over him, but he was confused. He stared at his reflection, and it stared back at him. There was a click.

“You felt fear,” a gravelly voice stated. “You felt concern. You felt panic. You felt despair.”

“Now, you feel confused,” the voice mused. “These are basic emotions, primal emotions. They are useless.” The voice growled.

“Emotions are weakness. Survival requires action. Action requires thought. Thought requires clarity. To achieve clarity, you must cast off your weakness.”

“I don’t understand,” Jacob said quizzically.

“Understanding is not required at this juncture. You will be made to understand, but that will happen later if you are deemed able.”

Jacob felt his resolve harden. He set his jaw, sat up straight, and squared his shoulders.

“I am able,” Jacob said. “I will not fail.”

“Your pride is a weakness, and you will fail,” the voice said absently. “You have no choice in the matter. We will break you, shatter your spirit. Your resolve will falter and crumble. If we deem you able after all of this, we will rebuild you, make you stronger. By the time we are finished, you will have no equal in the normal world.”

Jacob stared at the glass and narrowed his eyes.

“If I fail?” he asked.

“Failure?” the voice responded. “You do not understand this basic point: failure is not available to you. You either survive, or you die.”

Jacob opened his mouth, but the voice spoke before he could.

“Enough words. You passed the first test. Now, we begin the real program.”

Jacob was plunged into darkness, and he lost consciousness.

His memory faded, and he arrived back at his mind in the black nothing. Other memories were bright flashes in the darkness, but each one was fleeting. Images of his parents, his home in London, Heathrow on a busy morning, Lisa’s carefree smile; nothing stayed long enough to study in any detail.

Jacob couldn’t remember why he was in the darkness. Just out of reach, the answer eluded him, but he knew it was important.

How could he forget? It was extremely important that he remember.

What was his purpose?

“Your purpose,” the gravelly voice from before started, “is to do your job.”

“I don’t understand,” Jacob heard himself say.

“Understanding is not required,” the voice explained. “In fact, the less you think about understanding it, the better you will be able to complete your mission.”

Jacob frowned. Wasn’t it important to think and understand?

“Quite the opposite,” the voice responded. “If you concern yourself with understanding, you will miss important details.”

“Doesn’t that imply understanding?” Jacob asked quizzically.

“Understanding is a hindrance. You understand how a fabricator works, and it is working properly. Is there something wrong with it?”

“You just said that it was working properly. Nothing is wrong with it.”

“Wrong,” the voice stated dryly. “Because of your complacency that is bred by your so-called understanding, you have failed to notice a small fluctuation in power. A terrorist cell is now armed and in control of the reactor.”

“But that is so unlikely as to never happen,” Jacob said.

“And that is why you would fail,” the voice shot back. “Question everything. Take nothing at face value. Never make assumptions. You no longer have the luxury.”

Jacob sighed.

“How will I know if I have the complete picture?”

“When the remaining questions are irrelevant,” the voice responded.

The conversation continued, but the voices quickly faded into nothing.

Once more, Jacob floated alone in the darkness, the only being in existence.

His thoughts turned to what he needed to know. He was with someone else, a friend. They were more than friends. No, theirs was something words could barely describe. Brotherhood.

“Lieutenant,” a voice said from behind Jacob.

Jacob spun around and snapped a salute.

“Captain.”

“At ease,” the man said. “I’m retired, LT. No need for the ceremony.”

“If it’s all the same, sir, you’ve earned the ceremony more than most.”

“Is that so?” the man asked as he crossed his arms.

“Yes, sir. You served with honor and distinction throughout your career in the RF. You quickly rose to the rank of Captain where you remained, by choice, until you suffered severe injuries in the line of duty and were given the option to muster out with full benefits due the rank of Colonel, but you refused the promotion to remain at the rank of Captain. Nobody living has given more,” Jacob finished.

The man scratched at the stubble on his chin absent-mindedly with his left hand. He dropped it back to his side.

“I supposed you’re right, LT.”

“Please, sir, you can simply call me Jacob.”

“In that case, Jacob,” the man said as he stretched his left hand and reached out with his right, “call me Mason.”

Chapter II

The memory of meeting Mason moved away as quickly as it had arrived leaving Jacob alone once again. His mind started to wander, and more glimpses of the past flew by him at ever increasing speed.

Surrounded by a cacophony of memories, Jacob found himself lost. He rode along a wave of emotions that he had not felt since he completed his training. He truly felt his love of Lisa for the first time in years, and like a door slamming shut, his emotions were cut off as he reached the memories of his training. The grueling regimen had broken his spirit, and he was less than a broken man.

They had rebuilt him, gave him a purpose. His purpose in life was to complete his mission. That is why he had been chosen for Halcyon.

“Ah, Mr. Brown,” Doctor Jenkins started, “I’m glad to see that you and Mr. Smith have safely made it.”

Jacob nodded as he and Mason sat down on the other side of the doctor’s desk.

“I know that you haven’t been told all that much about the project that we’ve asked you to come here for, and I’m really sorry about that,” Jenkins said. “I’m sure you can understand the amount of secrecy we are working under right now. By no means is this going to remain a top secret project forever, but we don’t want information being released before we are ready to release it.”

“Understood, Doctor Jenkins,” Jacob responded.

“That’s what I’m used to, Doc,” Mason agreed.

“And we all appreciate that, Mr. Smith,” Doctor Jenkins said as he nodded. “Now, I’m sure that you have at least been told why you are here.”

They both nodded.

“Good. So,” he started and let out a breath. “Where would be best for me to begin? Well, I guess that the beginning would be the best.”

Pressing an icon on his desktop, he turned his chair around and looked at the wall where an image sprang to life. The image was that of a timeline with all of the major occurrences in the past two hundred years notated.

“Obviously, this is what our past looks like from the end of the 19^th century on. The major wars, the economic turmoil, everything,” Doctor Jenkins scratched his chin as he continued.

“Time is something that we have always considered to be moving in a singular direction. It can move at different rates due to the theories of Einstein, but it always moves forward. That being the case, the concept of a time machine capable of travel back in time is a pipe dream. That is, of course, until a discovery we made last year.”

“Excuse me, Doc?” Mason asked. “Are you saying that Einstein is wrong?”

Doctor Jenkins coughed. “Not as such, no.”

“All of our understanding of his theory says that it is impossible because of Causality. The effect cannot precede the cause. This being the case, if you were to travel back in time, you would be creating a paradox.”

“What are you getting at, Doctor Jenkins?” Jacob leaned forward.

“Our mathematicians and theoretical physicists have managed to find a loophole in Einstein’s theories. We’re working on the very fringe of our understanding, but with some of the new information discovered in the new collider we have at Einstein, we were able to connect some dots.”

Mason scratched his nose. “I don’t follow.”

“You’re familiar with the concept of wormholes?” Doctor Jenkins tapped another icon, and the screen switched to an image of a graphed wormhole solution.

“Well, I think so.” Mason squinted at the image.

“Basically that you can connect two points in space together at the same time, right, Doctor?”

“Correct, Mr. Brown,” Doctor Jenkins replied. He tapped another icon. The graph was replaced with a dense mass of math.

“What you are looking at is a masterpiece.” Doctor Jenkins grinned.

“Pardon my bluntness, but that’s just a bunch of letters and squiggly lines,” Mason said as his eyes glazed over.

Doctor Jenkins frowned.

“While it may look like that, Mr. Smith, I assure you it is more than that. Quite a lot more, actually.”

“Put simply,” the doctor began, “this is time-travel. Not just to the future, oh no, this beauty, gentlemen, lets us go to any time anywhere.”

“Impossible,” Jacob whispered.

“I second that,” Mason said as he leaned back in his chair. “You said so yourself not five minutes ago.”

“Ah, but that’s just it,” Doctor Jenkins said. “When we activate Halcyon-“

“Activate what?” Mason blinked.

“What? Oh. Right.” Doctor Jenkins turned a tad red in the cheeks. “I’m getting way ahead of myself.”

Jacob shifted in his chair as he stared at the math in front of him. It very well could’ve been written in old Gaelic for all he could tell.

“At its most basic level,” Doctor Jenkins said as he switched the image again, “Halcyon will be a gateway to unimaginable knowledge. Imagine going through that gate and seeing the first humans walk across the savannahs of Africa, or perhaps you wish to visit the fall of Rome or witness the depravity of Emperor Nero first hand. We can do that with Halcyon.”

Mason worked his mouth for a few seconds.

“No offense, Doc, but this sounds like a bad series of movies,” he said after he had collected his thoughts.

“Not to be rude,” Jacob started, “but I have to agree with Mason on this.”

Doctor Jenkins looked crestfallen.

Mason sighed and rubbed his brow with his left hand.

“Ok, Doc, what do you need us for?” Mason asked.

Doctor Jenkins cleared his throat.

“Right, well,” he stammered for a bit. “You and the Lieutenant are going to be the first to go through.”

“That’s not all that-“Mason stopped midsentence.

“Isn’t that putting the cart before the horse, Doctor Jenkins?” Jacob asked. “You said this is all cutting edge. Has any of this even been tested?”

“Ah not as such, Mr. Brown,” Doctor Jenkins replied. “The first test will be taking place later this month.”

He brought up a series of pictures and blueprints.

“The primary facility is a year or two away from being completed, but the tests we need to do first don’t require that facility.”

“That’s great and all, Doc, but what exactly do you want us to do?” Mason asked. “Need I remind you that I am retired? I’m enjoying that retirement.”

Doctor Jenkins sighed and brought out two large document envelopes. They were addressed one each to Mason and Jacob.

“As of today, Captain, you are reactivated and assigned to Halcyon. I am told that you can talk to the higher ups, but please give this a chance. You are highly qualified and second only to Mr. Brown according to our databases.”

Doctor Jenkins turned to Jacob as Mason steamed beneath his eyebrows.

“As I alluded to when addressing the Captain, Mr. Brown, you are our number one choice for this project.”

“On what criteria did this decision get based on?” Jacob asked as he looked over his paperwork.

“All of them, of course,” Doctor Jenkins replied. “We put all of the available databases into our algorithm. Your name and Mr. Smith’s were the ones that were chosen.”

“Rest assured, Doc,” Mason began, “I am going to take this up with the brass.”

“That is your prerogative,” Doctor Jenkins responded. “Please give us a chance, Mr. Smith. This work is beyond groundbreaking.”

Mason mumbled something under his breath as Jacob asked Doctor Jenkins another question.

The memory faded into darkness, and Jacob thought about what Doctor Jenkins had said.

Ground breaking.

Chapter III

“Jacob,” Mason screamed into the darkness. “Where are you?”

He turned all around, but everything was black. It was all silent.

“Mason,” a female voice said from behind.

Mason spun around, and he was face-to-face with a beautiful redhead. She had a simple sundress on, and her hair was cut chin lengthy and styled to frame her fair, freckled face.

“Uh, hi,” he felt himself squeak.

The girl giggled.

“You’re cute,” she stated.

Mason felt himself blush.

“My parents said that I’d find you here in the atrium.”

“Your parents?” Mason asked.

"That’s what I said,” she stated as she put her hands on her hips and frowned.

Mason blinked a few times.

“You weren’t told about me?” She pouted.

“I can’t say that I was,” Mason said as he stared at the ground.

“Oh,” she said quietly. "Well, that’s okay!”

She bounced closer and curtsied in front of him.

“My name is Jessica Graves. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mason.”

Mason managed a sheepish grin.

“Hi, Jessica,” he said.

“You seem very surprised,” Jessica said. “Were you not expecting me?”

“Expecting you? Uh,” Mason shook his head “Can’t say that I was.”

“Silly,” Jessica giggled. “I’m going to be your wife!”

“Wife?” Mason looked startled.

His mind raced, and he fainted.

When Mason woke up, he was lying on a couch in a plushly decorated room. The couch was made of fine velvet, and the carpet was a thick weave that was so soft you left footprints. The walls were lightly stained walnut, and the paneling was broken up by occasional paintings that had to have been from the Renaissance. In an alcove behind him, there was a low bench in front of a statue of Mary and Joseph.

There was a knock on the door.

“Mason? Are you ready?”

Mason looked up at the sound of the deep voice. He blinked a few times to clear the last of the cobwebs from his mind.

“Yeah, Dad,” Mason called. “You can come on in. I was just taking a breather.”

The door cracked open, and a balding head peered in. His father pushed the door open all the way and walked in.

“Now isn’t the time to be napping, my boy,” Mason’s dad said as he strode over to a coat rack. “Today is your big day!”

Mason felt confusion as he stood and walked over to his father.

“Yeah, I know,” he felt himself say, but he couldn’t remember what was happening.

“You should see Jessica,” his father said as he helped Mason into the hanging tuxedo jacket. “She looks absolutely amazing. Your mother and I are so happy for you.”

Mason pulled the jacket around him and stretched.

“You know,” his father began, “I was only 18 when I married your mother as well.”

Mason felt realization wash over him.

“How did you know you were in love with Mom,” Mason asked.

His dad laughed.

“The moment I first laid eyes on her,” he said. “Do you love Jessica, Mason?”

“Yes,” Mason responded. “Well, at least, I think I do. I hope I do.”

“What has you thinking like this,” his dad asked as he sat on the couch and motioned for Mason to join him.

“It’s just been on my mind all week, Dad.” Mason sat next to his father and sighed. “You found mom, and it was the mutual love that you both felt that brought the two of you together. Where does that leave Jessica and me?”

“Well,” his father began before stopping again. He scratched the hollow of his right cheek in thought.

“I supposed I can understand your apprehension,” he finally answered. “This marriage between you and Jessica is just the new shape of things. Even at that, it isn’t new in some parts of the world.”

“It feels wrong,” Mason muttered.

“Won’t argue with that,” his father sighed. “But this is how it is now. Marriage is very much a legal contract more than anything else. You didn’t have any say in it, but Jessica didn’t either.”

Mason shook his head.

“I know, Mason, but think of what all we are getting. Wealth is no longer a concern, but the Graves family is very well known. There is much prestige in joining that family.”

“I guess,” Mason said in defeat. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”

His dad stood up, looked at him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“And that is why you won’t,” his dad said with a smile.

“Smith!”

Mason shook his head in shock, and he tried to gain focus on his surroundings.

He was in a large room with subdued, grey walls. The floor was polished black. Around him in neat ranks were other people standing rigid, face and eyes unmoving.

“Smith!”

“What,” he replied.

“What is not an acceptable response, recruit,” said a main that appeared in front of Mason, seemingly out of thin air. “Any response will either begin with sir, or it will simply be sir.”

“Sir,” Mason responded.

“Good,” the man said. He ran a skeletal looking left hand over his finely shaved scalp. It lingered for a moment over a shiny metal plate that was over his left ear. “Now, no more zoning out, ya hear?”

“Sir. Yes, sir,” the assembled group responded.

“Alright. Now, that’s the response I like to hear.” The man began pacing in front of the group. Every other step, his right foot would loudly impact the floor. The impacts echoed about the room.

“Welcome to the Reactionary Forces, ladies and gentlemen. Each and every one of you has some idyllic view of how you are going to make a difference. I, on the other hand, have the view that you are only going to hurt the people standing around you if you continue to subscribe to such foolish notions.”

The man stopped and glared at the person next to Mason.

“Know the truth? We don’t need you! Leave now! The crying shame of it all is that we have to let you in.”

He sighed and began pacing again.

“This world is very different from the one not even a century past. For once, you are allowed to do whatever you wish. Hell, even underwater basket weaving is now viable.”

He looked over the crowd.

“Some of you will quit. There is nothing wrong with that, but some of you will be too stubborn to quit. The remainder of you will do what you deem to be your civic duty and muster out before you even begin thinking about having a mid-life crisis.”

He looked right at Mason.

“But those of you that are too stubborn to quit will make a difference. Some will get wrapped up in a very bad real estate deal, but all will never be forgotten.”

Looking at his left hand, he opened and closed his fist a few times before continuing.

“I’m up here to level with you. I shouldn’t be up here. I was one of the people that never should have enlisted, but I had no choice back then. What you see before you is no dog and pony show. This is the reality of the world. I was badly wounded in the field; put a down payment on some property. One of the stubborn ones, though, wasn’t going to let me quit. His stubbornness saved my life, but my ideals cost him his. My best friend, my brother, took the shot that was meant for me. He stepped in and gave me another chance by sacrificing his own.”

Mason blinked back tears at the thought.

“I made that decision that day to take his place. I became too stubborn to quit. I’ve added to my down payment, but I will never stop.”

The man sighed and looked at the ground for a bit before looking back up, a renewed fire in his eyes.

“People die. People get hurt. It is our job to step in front of harm and take the shot meant for an innocent. The world has come a long way in the last fifty years, but it is still a deadly place. Welcome to your new life, recruits. Welcome to making a difference. Fall out!”

Heels clicked together, and salutes were given.

“Ah, Mr. Smith, good,” a familiar voice said.

“General,” Mason said as he shot up and saluted. His mind was fuzzy, but clarity quickly took over.

“At ease,” the man said as he returned the salute. “It is a unique privilege I get when I see a person twice for similar reasons such as this. Five years ago, I wouldn’t have picked you for officer.”

“Nor I, sir,” Mason said as he relaxed a little. “I must admit that your prosthetic choice was most enlightening. Part of me wanted to quit on the spot.”

“But you didn’t,” the general said as he started walking down the corridor. He motioned for Mason to fall in step with him. “It takes a rare man to do that was far as I’m concerned. You’ve seen more than your share of action, Mr. Smith. Sydney was particularly hairy to my understanding.”

“Yes, sir, but my squad did their job. The terrorists were thwarted,” Mason said.

“Indeed they were, and you did it without your lieutenant, did his job even. That’s why you are here today. It’s obvious you’re ready for the next step. Want a platoon?” the general asked as he looked at Mason.

“If I am deemed capable, sir.”

“You have the raw aptitude,” he said. “These next few months will determine if that can be honed.”

“It can, sir,” Mason said with confidence.

“We’ll see in due time, Mr. Smith. Don’t let me down now that you have me believing in you.”

“I’m too stubborn for that, sir.”

“Dammit, Mason! Pay attention to me,” Jessica screamed.

“What?” Mason shook his head.

“It’s time!”

“Time for what?” Mason blinked a few times.

Jessica slapped Mason hard.

“Snap out of it! Get the bag, and let’s go!”

“I, uh, right,” Mason said. “The bag.”

He fumbled around the apartment looking for the bag of clothes. The bag of clothes that had been kept ready for two weeks for when it was time for the baby to arrive.

The baby.

“The baby’s here?”

“Not yet,” Jessica growled. “She will be if you sit around much longer though.”

“Right,” Mason said as he picked up the bag. “Lead the way.”

Jessica growled as she walked out the door. Mason jogged to catch up to her. He was treated to the same beautiful view he saw every morning.

His apartment door faced east, so the entire walkway looked over the Atlantic. The skies were crystal clear, and the water was calm. The Sun glistened off of nearby buildings.

Mason followed Jessica into one of the main lifts, and they were whisked away to the medical level of their hab complex.

After about a minute of travel, they exited the lift onto the medical level. They were so far down that only artificial light cut through the darkness outside the windows.

“Ah, Mrs. Smith,” a nurse said from behind the counter they walked up to. “It is a pleasure to see you again.”

“It’s time, Marcy,” Jessica said.

“So it is,” Marcy exclaimed. She hit a few buttons and spoke into a microphone. “Chair to waiting three.”

“Captain Smith,” a voice said from behind Mason.

Mason spun around and prepared to salute.

“Oh,” he said as he saw the young doctor standing behind him. “Nice to see you again, Doctor Evans.”

“So today is the day, huh?” Doctor Evans asked.

“Seems so,” Mason said as he looked around for the wheelchair that should have already been there.

“Well, word of advice? Don’t get too stressed.”

“Impossible, doc, but I’ll see what I can do,” Mason said as he leaned to try and look around corners.

“Ha. Well, just remember that she is the one actually giving birth, and last I heard, she doesn’t take orders from you.”

Mason sighed and nodded.

“Good,” Doctor Evans said. “And remember, Captain Smith, it’s Adam,” Doctor Evans said as he clapped Mason on the shoulder and walked away.

“Don’t forget about our appointment next Tuesday,” he called as he rounded a nearby corner.

“Mason! What are you doing,” Jessica yelled from her wheelchair as she was wheeled towards the delivery ward.

“Wha-. Coming,” Mason said as he trotted after her.

He smiled as he thought about getting to meet his new baby girl.

“Not much longer, Marlene,” he said as he caught up with his wife. “You doing okay?”

“Shut up and fall in step, soldier,” Jessica growled. “Just be there and only speak if spoken to. This isn’t exactly a pleasant feeling.”

Mason sighed and shook his head. Same old Jessica, he thought.

“Captain Smith? Can you hear me, Captain,” a nasally voice asked.

Mason’s mind was foggy. He groaned.

“Doctor Evans,” the voice called. “He’s coming around.”

Mason tried to move, but he was immobilized from the neck down. He couldn’t remember what had happened, and he certainly had no idea why he was here.

“Where,” he started, but his mouth and throat were beyond parched. His voice was a mere croak.

“Shh,” a familiar voice said. “You need to refrain from talking, Captain. You’ve been through a lot. Nurse, can you get Captain Smith some water? Ice chips only.”

“Yes, Doctor,” the nasally voice said.

Mason tried to open his eyes, but he was unable to feel them to make them work. He started to panic. The beeping of the heart monitor increased with his pulse.

“Calm down, Captain. Everything is okay,” the familiar voice said. “You are okay. We have you immobilized for your safety.”

The nurse returned to the room, and Mason heard her place a cup on something near him.

“Open,” she said beside him.

He opened his mouth and felt cold pieces of ice drop into his mouth. He worked his mouth and tongue as the ice melted. After a few more ice chips, he felt good enough to try talking.

“Where,” Mason started, but he was cut off by his voice cracking. He cleared his throat to try again.

“Where am I?” he managed after some effort.

“You are on medical floor five, ICU ward three. We are in your hab complex,” the familiar voice said. “It was pretty harrowing for a while there, Captain. We were afraid we were going to lose you.”

“I’m – I can’t remember anything,” Mason said. “I’m stuck in a fog. I can’t move or see.”

“That’s our doing, Captain. I assure you, everything functions normally.”

“What happened,” Mason asked.

“That’s a long story, Captain Smith. We can save that for a little later. For now, let’s see about bringing your mind and body back up to speed,” the voice said.

“Sounds good, uh –“

“Doctor Evans.”

“Doctor Evans,” Mason echoed. “It’s good to hear your voice, doc.”

“It’s good to see you awake, Captain.”

Mason grunted.

“Okay, Captain,” Doctor Evans said. “We’re going to take the neural inhibitors offline. You’ll regain your senses, and your mind will clear up. We’re going to leave the immobilizer online for your safety. There will be some discomfort.

Mason grunted again.

“Okay, Nurse Ried, slowly take them offline.”

Mason felt his mind clear. He breathed a sigh of relief, but he inhaled quickly when he was hit by the first wave of searing pain. His left side felt like it was on fire.

“It’s okay, Captain. It will subside as your mind takes back over,” Doctor Evans said.

After a few minutes of intense pain, it began to subside and become bearable.

“Only some discomfort, doc? I don’t want to know what you consider actual pain,” Mason panted.

“No, you don’t” Adam responded. “Can you remember anything now?”

Mason ran through his mind a few times. He vaguely recalled kissing Jessica and Marlene as he rushed out this morning. “I only remember this morning,” he said. “I can’t recall anything else.”

Doctor Evans sighed heavily.

“What you recall didn’t happen this morning. I don’t know how best to say this.”

Mason heard the concern in his voice.

“Just lay it on me, doc.”

“It’s been two months, Captain,” Doctor Evans said.

Two months.

“What happened? Where is my girl? Where’s Jessica? Why isn’t she here?”

“Shh,” Doctor Evans said. “They are both just fine. They’re in the apartment. When you started waking up, we notified them. They should be here soon.”

“My eyes,” Mason said. “Let me open my eyes. I want to be able to see when they get here.”

“Okay,” Doctor Evans said. “Just be sure to stay calm.”

“Do it, doc. I’m tired of the dark,” Mason said.

Mason felt an electric buzz rush through his body, and his vision came to life. The light filtered through his eyelids. He winced as he ran through lightly stretching his legs, feet, arms, and hands. Something was wrong. He didn’t feel his left arm or leg. He tried to move them, but there was nothing. Nothing.

Mason snapped his eyes open and quickly looked to his left arm; at least, his arm should’ve been there.

“No, Captain Smith, try and relax a little,” Mason heard Doctor Evans say over the rapid beeping of the heart monitor.

“Where’s my arm? Where’s my leg? Where are they, doc?” Mason pleaded with ever growing concern.

“You sustained heavy injuries on your mission,” Adam responded. “We were lucky to save you in time. The majority of your company wasn’t so lucky.”

“I don’t understand,” Mason whispered.

“I know,” Doctor Evans started to say.

“Mason,” Jessica screamed as she rushed into the room. “Oh my God. You’re awake. You’re okay,” she said as she knelt by his side. Marlene ran up beside her and threw herself on the bed.

“Daddy,” she screamed.

Mason couldn’t help but smile.

“I’m alright, baby girl,” he said. “Daddy is okay.”

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Doctor Evans said. “Don’t worry though, Captain. We got the cores for your cybernetic prosthetics installed while you were in a coma. We can begin physical therapy as soon as you want,” he said.

“Thank you, Adam,” Jessica said with tears in her eyes.

Doctor Evans smiled and walked out of the room.

“We missed you, daddy,” Marlene said.

“I know, little one,” Mason said. “I’m here now. It’s all going to be okay.”

“Mason,” Jessica began.

“Mason, thank God you’re okay,” an old voice said at the doorway.

“Mr. Graves,” Mason said. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“And yours, my boy,” Mr. Graves said. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“Do we have to do this now, father?” Jessica asked. “He just woke up, and anyways, you know that I don’t agree with it one bit.”

“What’s going on, Mommy,” Marlene asked.

“It’s okay, baby,” Jessica said. “It’s just grown up talk.”

“What’s the bad news, Mr. Graves?” Mason asked cautiously.

Mr. Graves pulled a large envelope out from an inner pocket.

“Mason,” Mr. Graves started,” I’m afraid that the injuries you sustained include one that constitutes breach of contract. I’m sorry, my boy, but your marriage to my daughter is officially terminated,” Mr. Graves said as he laid the envelope in front of Mason, turned around, then walked out the door.

“Is this,” Mason asked as his eyes filled with tears.

“It is,” Jessica said as she choked back a sob. “I don’t want to do it, but my father isn’t budging on the matter. We don’t have a choice.”

“What did Granpa Graves mean,” Marlene asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Jessica sobbed as she hugged Marlene and Mason close.

“It means mommy and daddy can’t be together anymore,” she managed to say.

Mason couldn’t find any words. He simply cried and held the loves of his life, his whole world that was shattering before his eyes, with his right arm.

The world wasn’t fair.

Mason felt confusion. It felt like he was speeding through his life, and none of it made sense. The feeling of loss from his divorce cut through him.

It made the retirement unbearable. He could still be active duty, but the powers that be, his mentor and friend General Franks especially, had forced him onto reserve duty during his physical therapy and recovery.

After the months on reserve duty, General Franks convinced Mason to retire.

“You’ve earned it,” he had said. “Take time for yourself, as much as you need.”

“Time,” Mason muttered as he splashed water on his face. “This retirement is going to kill me.”

He finished shaving and wiped his face off after washing it. Unceremoniously stuffing the hand towel between the towel bar and wall, he stood up straight and looked at his chest. There was a jagged scar starting just left of his left pectoral. He felt along it with his right hand, slowly tracing each branch and ridge.

After everything had been installed and verified to be successfully integrated, the doctors said they could remove the scarring. Mason chose to keep the scars as a reminder, an apparent one, of what he had gone through. It couldn’t match the emotional pain he felt.

Sighing, Mason opened the access panel for his left arm. Looking over the indicators, he decided everything was okay and closed it back up. He flexed his hands as he held them in front of his face.

“I’m a walking dichotomy,” Mason said to the air. “Life and death in some kind of perverted harmony.”

He sighed again and let his arms fall to his sides. Shrugging into the shirt he had hanging over the bar for the shower curtain, Mason walked through his small bedroom and into the living space of his unit.

He flipped on the TV in preparation for another day of nothing. Before he could get settled on his couch, his communication panel started beeping.

Mason grumbled and activated it as he sat down.

“Mason,” he said.

“Captain,” General Franks said as his picture snapped to life. “I trust that retirement is working for you.”

“Far from it, sir, but I make do,” he said.

Frowning, the general said, “Well, I think I can understand. You know this is for your own good.”

“Sir, you and I both know the docs are full of it.”

“While I agree as a brother-in-arms, even I must bow to their judgment,” General Franks said with a sigh. “I know it’s been two-“

“Three.”

“That long already? Okay, three years since New York. The doctors aren’t budging on their assessment. The tests they do still say your psyche can’t handle the stress of potential combat again. They want to keep you safe, Captain,” Franks sighed.

“Beg your pardon, sir, but you know as well as I that this is worse than what I could face out there.”

“That’s why I’m contact you today, Captain.” The general leaned forward. “I don’t have the power to reactivate you, the rest of the brass would have to be onboard, but I can pull some strings elsewhere.”

“You have my attention, sir.”

“I’ve been contacted by some scientists at Einstein. They’ve been working on some new stuff, as they always are, and something has come across my desk that has caught my attention.” The general scratched his chin. “They’re eventually going to be needing personnel for what they plan, so I brokered a deal with the lead researcher. They need two people for what they plan, so the deal is I get to pick one. He picks the other.”

“Let me guess,” Mason said.

“Yeah,” Franks responded. “You’re my choice, Captain. Pack your bags. Transport leaves tomorrow.”

“Sir,” Mason asked. “What about the rest of command?”

“Well, Captain, you’re technically still retired. They can’t do anything about it.”

“Thank you, sir,” Mason said as he smiled for the first time in ages.

“It’s the least I can do, Captain. The other candidate that was chosen is a hard one, as a heads up. I’ll send you the dossier when you’re en route, but there isn’t much to it. There are a lot of black lines.”

“SpecOps?”

“Looks like,” Franks replied. “Enjoy the rest of your day, Captain. Your itinerary will be transmitted shortly. Franks, out.”

The screen switched to stand-by as the connection was terminated.

Mason leaned back and intertwined his fingers behind his head.

“I finally have purpose again,” he said as he smiled.

For the first time in three years, his injuries and loss were the last things on his mind.